


Logic & Emotions

by foggynelson



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12343908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: Most things? Most things don’t sense. But Davey - Davey does.





	Logic & Emotions

Jack wishes he could recall when he fell in love with Davey. But Jack? Well, Jack doesn’t remember much in general. That’s ADHD for you! Jack can’t even remember when it was they first met. They were kids. In school. Jack doesn’t remember what year it was and in Jack’s mind they have been friends as long he can truly remember.

But when did Jack fall in love? They’re in college now, just as close of friends as they were as children. It’s not like it matters. What difference does it make if Jack has been in love for three years or three days? Because Jack knows. Knows it’s love. 

Which is, well, kind of interesting. Jack hasn’t had the most love filled life. It’s been turbulent and full of people coming and going - mostly going. It wasn’t until high school when he moved in with foster mother, Medda, that he had kind of semblance of a home life, a family of sorts. And he loves Medda; he loves his brothers Spot and Crutchie. They’re his heart. Only? Love is hard to place. Crutchie talked once about what love meant to them and it? It didn’t make sense.

Most things? Most things don’t sense. But Davey - Davey does. 

Not that Jack is a very logical person. He’s always been emotion based. He’s learned the importance of making decisions based on logic and emotion, combining the two to find the best solution to a problem. But, as ironic as it sounds, logic doesn’t make sense to him. Emotions are everything to a person, right?

And yet, yet it’s? It’s logic that fuels his love. Not only logic. There are emotions there. Very loud, powerful emotions that scream at him, telling him This Is Love! And it is. Jack knows that. He knows it ways he doesn’t know or understand most things. 

Because Davey makes sense. Davey is?

Jack tries to find words for Davey. He can easily list off the other’s attributes - kind, loving, smart, talented. Those come easy. But when it comes down to putting words to who Davey is, it’s not that simple. Davey is the world, the sun, the moon, the universe, each flower that Jack has ever seen bloom. Davey is Jack’s favorite shade of yellow - Davey is everything Jack has ever painted. 

And Jack like, knows that doesn’t make sense. There isn’t logic there. But Jack doesn’t need that. Jack feels Davey in everything he does. Small bits, thoughts of his smile as he sketches in class, recalling the sound of his voice while he watches his favourite TV show. Davey is there. Davey is? Davey is.

Of course, none of this matters. Because Davey is Jack’s friend. Friendship. Best friends. And Jack loves it. There are no objections there - Jack wants to be Davey’s friend until the day they die. He just… would also like them to be boyfriends who kiss and fuck and stuff but that’s. Impossible. 

Because Davey is the world, the sun, the moon, the universe. Jack is? Jack doesn’t even feel like he registers at all. He isn’t anyone. Which is fine. He’s grown to accept himself as this, as someone who isn’t bad but just overall isn’t _anything_.

Jack finds himself complaining to Race about Davey. As he’s done before. Race can’t say shit about it anyway as he owes him from all the times he vented about Spot before they were together. (“Spot is so cute and I want to punch him more than anything in the world.” “Do you think if I kissed Spot he would punch me? Because I might actually be into that.” “Crushes are the worst, Jack. Don’t ever get one.”)

Race has never been the most logical person out there. But he tries it now, telling Jack: “You and Davey have been friends for longer than anyone I know. He’s not going to leave you, even if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“But what if he does?” Jack asks. It’s the thought that runs around always. What if Davey leaves? What If Davey Leaves? What! If! Jack wants them to stop, the thoughts to be the ones that leave. That way he can just tell Davey and deal with whatever happens next. 

“Okay, Jack. What if? What if Davey does leave you? What then?”

And it’s interesting because Jack has thought that question a hundred times - a million times! But he’s never answered it. The question hangs in the air and Jack thinks. What if? Huh. Huh. 

“Then I’m alone?” Jack says, but it’s not a full statement, a half question.

“You’re not, though. You got me, got Crutch and spot. You got Medda. You got family. Other friends who love you.”

“It’s gonna hurt like hell.”

“No argument there,” Race replies. “But the thing about pain is it eases, it flows, it changes. You’re not gonna feel that hurt forever.”

Jack doesn’t argue with that. Not because he agrees - he doesn’t. But he understands where Race is coming from. Race has a family, parents, a younger sister. Not that Race hasn’t experienced pain, of course he has. But Race hasn’t had his family abandon him. And that pain? It’s still there. It’s like - those old people who get pain in their knees when it’s going to rain. Not a constant pain, but it arrives, suddenly, and it’s sharp and Jack remembers.

Jack gives Race a smile and tells him he’ll think about it some more. They hug and Race, grinning, says, “Now you owe me dinner.”

“What? Why?”

“Jackie, buddy. I just gave you the best advice. You owe me.”

Jack shakes his head, laughing. “Fine. But if I ask out Davey, you owe me.”

“Why?”

“Because I just said so,” Jack replies, slinging his arm and Race’s shoulders and pulls him towards the door.  


* * *

  
It’s three in the morning and Jack is thinking about Davey. It’s no surprise. What else is someone supposed to do at three in the morning? Oh, right, sleep. Yeah. Probably that. But that doesn’t always work out for Jack. 

The thing that’s hardest about being in love with Davey is the person that Jack wants to talk about it most with is Davey. Davey’s always the person Jack would turn to whenever he had a crush. They would talk and it would good and? Davey was always soft and kind and understanding and reassuring and Jack could use that now.

And Jack knows it’s stupid and probably not going to end well, but he switches over to send Davey a message.

> hey i know it’s late but like i got this crush??? or whatever and i just really wanted to talk to you abou it?? like just whenever you have a chance 

Jack sends it, quick, before he can double think and stop himself. Which Jack immediately wishes is what he would have done. Jack throws his phone to the other side of his bed and closes his eyes, wills himself to sleep. 

It doesn’t happen.

Three minutes later, Jack is up, rummaging around his bed, trying to find his phone. He finds it and is surprised to see a message from Davey.

> Hey I’m still up. Well, I was just about to go to bed. I just finished my homework. Mostly. Did you wanna do like breakfast or something? Talk then?

Jack smiles and replies: 

> sounds good. i’ll cook! 

With that, Jack sets an alarm on his phone so he wakes up early enough to cook. He falls asleep, trying to think of what he can do to make Davey forget he ever mentioned having a crush.  


* * *

  
Jack wakes up with no ideas no how to convince Davey he doesn’t actually have a crush. Which means Jack is gonna have to actually? Like, talk about it? He’s not going to mention names, not give any personal details. Vague. That’s Jack’s middle name! 

Davey knocks on the door, a quite rapping. Jack has told him a hundred times over that he can just come in, but Davey is always insistent on knocking. Jack goes and opens the door and walks back to the kitchen where he’s mixing pancake batter. 

“How can I help?” Davey asks, standing in the threshold between the kitchen and the dining room. 

“I’m good,” Jack replies. “Just about the start cooking. I wasn’t planning on anything big. I’m not Crutchie,” Jack adds with a laugh. His brother is the best cook, making the most interesting dishes Jack’s ever had.

“Okay.” Davey smiles. “So… a crush, huh?”

Jack, already looking down, closes his eyes and mutters a small, “Fuck,” before looking back up at Davey. “A crush? What is that? I, Jack Kelly, have never felt any emotion ever.”

“So that time last time when Medda performed and you broke down crying, going on about how talented she is and how blessed you are to have her as a mother that was just? Nothing?”

“Wow, Dave, someone is sassy this Thursday morning.”

“Sorry,” Davey is quick to reply.

“No, I like it,” Jack responds and blush spreads across his face. Jack is supposed to vague. No mentions of Davey or liking him in any capacity. Davey who? Jack doesn’t know a Davey!

Jack busies himself with cooking the pancakes. They turn out all right, a few a bit burned, but overall look good. Jack does his best to not think anything - no thoughts of? Anything? No thoughts of anything outside of pancakes. Fluffy, tasty pancakes, covered in syrup. Those are the only thoughts Jack has.

Until. Until he’s done and he turns around and sees Davey there and the thoughts he was holding off come flooding in, breaking the dam he had built in his mind. He puts a smile on and fixes plates for the both of them, handing over Davey’s.

They sit at the table, which is already set with butter and syrup. “Peanut butter?” Davey questions.

“Right!” Jack replies, getting up. How he managed to forget that Davey likes peanut butter on his pancakes, Jack is not sure. He grabs the jar from the fridge (it’s the organic, natural kind that Jack only owns for Davey) and then sits back down at the table, handing it over. 

"Thanks,” Davey replies. He smiles as he prepares his pancakes and Jack watches, a smile on his face as well. Davey takes a bite and then, turning to look at Jack, says, “You gonna talk about your crush? Or even just eat?”

Jack looks down, realizing he hasn’t touched his own pancakes at all. “Right,” Jack replies and realizes that’s what he said last time Davey asked him anything and he feels like an idiot as he pours his syrup atop is pancakes. 

“It’s nothing,” Jack says, as he eats. “Just a little crush. Probably nothing.”

“You text me about it at three in the morning. Can’t be that little.”

Davey’s got him there. Jack sighs. “It’s… I just think he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” That was not what Jack wanted to say. It’s too obvious - who is more amazing than Davey? 

“So what’s the problem? Did you already ask him out or what? You’ve never been too shy to ask someone out.”

“No, I haven’t,” Jack replies. 

“Why not?”

Jack takes a deep breath, trying to decide just what to say. “I guess I’m just worried of rejection.”

“Who would reject you?” Davey asks, grinning as he looks at Jack.

“Your sister for one,” slips out. It’s better than his other answer of: my parents, most of my childhood friends. 

“She’s a lesbian, Jack. Can’t be too surprised by that.”

“I know, I know,” Jack responds and then sighs.

“I can’t imagine anyone, who is interested in boys, rejecting you. You’re such a wonderful person, Jack. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Davey has the brightest smile on his face, a light brush on his cheeks.

And Jack - like? Wishes he could take that at face value. Davey’s kindness, Davey’s obvious love for him. Jack knows Davey loves him. Only - Jack knows! He _knows_ there’s no way Davey loves him romantically. 

Jack sits silent as he continues to eat. Davey doesn’t say anything else either, they continue to eat until Davey asks, “You going to tell me who he is?”

“Does it matter?”

“I mean, I guess not? But you’ve always told me before. At least tell me if I know who he is.”

“You do,” Jack replies, unable to tell that lie. 

“It’s Albert, isn’t it?” 

“Um, no.” 

“Like it’s not Crutchie or Spot and I hope not Race, because that could complicate things. You said he, so not Kath, which good on you for not crushing on a lesbian again. Is it Finch?” Davey’s voice is fast, more of a ramble as he speaks. 

“Not Finch.”

“Then who, Jack? Why won’t you just tell me?” Davey looks at him and there’s almost sadness on his face and Jack… That’s not okay. Making Davey sad? The worst. Literal worst.

“You, okay? It’s you. So you can just. Take that information and leave.” Jack doesn’t mean the anger to be there, but it spills out, rushed. Jack can’t stand to look at Davey, doesn’t want to see his reaction.

He hears it, though, in Davey’s small, “Me?” It’s more of a squeak that comes out, small and Jack can hear the confusion.

“You,” Jack replies, sighing. 

“Oh.” Jack waits for more. For more of a response. For Davey to just walk out. Jack is ready for Davey to leave and never come back. And by ready, Jack means he is beyond terrified but can’t bring himself to believe anything else could happen.

“Is it just a crush?” Davey asks a moment later. Jack looks over at him, a quick glance, and finds Davey looking down, his fingers clenching and releasing, one of Davey’s nervous stims.

“What do you mean?” Jack asks.

“Before,” Davey pauses waving his hand in the air. “Before you said it was just a little crush. Probably nothing. Is that true?”

Jack debates on lying again. Keeping up the ruse that this is? Small. Nothing. Something he’ll be over three weeks from now. But Jack knows that’s not the case and Jack doesn’t want to lie to Davey. Not anymore.

“No,” Jack starts. He clears his throat and continues, “I’m basically completely and madly in love with you or whatever.”

“Really?” It’s the same voice from before, a small squeak, confusion, bafflement. Jack looks at Davey again and sees the other looking back at him.

“Really,” Jack whispers out. He? He tries to stop himself, but he finds himself thinking of what it could mean if Davey actually does like him. Them dating. Holding hands. Kissing. Living together. Having a family - two dogs and a son. Growing old. It’s small snapshots that cross his mind. It’s beautiful and Jack realizes he would do just about anything for that life. 

“Well that’s.... Good,” Davey replies. “I kind of love you too.”

And Jack hears the words. Jack doesn’t have a hard time hearing. Processing things? Now, Jack struggles with that. He hears the words, but he doesn’t understand them right away. He almost wonders for a second if Davey was just professing his love of the band U2. But no? Davey just said that he loves him? Davey Jacobs? Loves? Jack Kelly? 

“Kind of?” Jack ends up asking, a smirk on his face as he looks over at Davey. “Just kind of love me?”

“Well you said basically,” Davey counters. “I couldn’t go in one-hundred percent if you weren’t going to.”

“Hm, well, what if I told you I was absolutely, completely, two-million percent in love with you?”

“I would first tell you that you can’t be two-million percent anything.” Davey smirks and Jack rolls his eyes. “And then I would tell that you that yeah, I’m completely in love with you too.”

“Well, I am. In love with you just that much. Two-million percent.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “I love you. Even if you don’t understand math and percentages.”

Jack smiles, wide, bright. He looks at Davey and… It doesn’t make sense. Davey loving him doesn’t make sense. There is no logic behind it. But Jack has never relied on logic. But as Davey grabs his hand, holds it and leans his head onto Jack’s shoulder, Jack can feel it. And Jack has always been more emotional than logical anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Come join me on tumblr [@andvsamberg](https://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/) and talk to me and send me prompts!!


End file.
